The Most Important Conversations of Your Life

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

— Galatians 6:2

Today’s discussion is being written during a Friday afternoon lull in the annual Warrior Men’s Conference in Waterville Valley, New Hampshire. This is the twelfth year your humble author has attended with other men from church. This year, over twenty of us from Chaffin traveled north together, connecting and (for some) speaking with each other for the first time. That might sound crazy considering we’re not that big of a congregation, but with two services, kids running around on Sunday mornings, it happens. For a time on Sunday and the occasional event there is the possibility of connection. But how often do we have opportunity to spend hours and days together, with no other responsibility on our shoulders than hanging out, playing Wally-ball, worshiping Jesus, and talking?

There is a lot of talking at the Warrior Conference.

Sometimes, these conversations are the start of lifelong friendships. These conversations also change lives. There is a difference between men and women. Yes, there are exceptions but in general, men have a harder time being open about issues we face in life. Some spend their entire lives never talking with anyone about anything more intimate than their favorite player’s lifetime sports statistic. That sentence is truly heartbreaking. In this world of the Internet, smart phones and social media, too many of us surround ourselves with unlimited information, but are utterly alone.

We are not meant to be alone. Less so if we are disciples of Jesus — and if we have surrendered our life to follow the one true King, we are his disciples no less than Peter or John. Because of this, and like those men, we are commissioned to build each other up, share each other’s burdens and spread the Kingdom of God throughout this land. Together.

We don’t build each other up by talking baseball all the time. It might be fun to do, but not at the expense of sharing the most important thing we have in this world: ourselves. Men (and women), you are commissioned by Jesus to spread the Gospel to the ends of the Earth. That includes those people sitting beside you. There is a young man struggling with the loss of a parent, another alone on his knees at home begging for patience and peace with his children, another a respected leader at work but most of the time feeling like an impostor, a husband who wants to treat his wife like a queen but when the moment comes speaks only discouragement and bitterness, another who feels each day as a growing weight on his back threatening to crush him, and he does not understand why.

This might sound dramatic, but it is how men respond internally when we do not feel like we are enough. Yes, our spouses and significant others are critical in helping build up and encourage us. A strong woman is “the crown of her husband,” says Proverbs 12. But men need to have significant, trusting relationships with other men. Solomon says in Ecclesiastes that, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

If a man falls, another will be there to lift him up. Some of the conversations going on this weekend in New Hampshire could very well be some one the most important in our lives. Because we are opening up, sharing truths that have until now been held captive in the darkness. There’s a reason we spend so much time at these events in worship, shouting praises along with hundreds of other men. Opening up to God like this opens our hearts, too. We cry out to Jesus. His answer is in the form of the man standing beside us. That’s me. And you.

How do you convince the man having coffee with you to share what is truly holding him down in life? You tell him what is truly holding you down. You “bare your soul” so he feels less reluctant to speak aloud what he has whispered only to himself. Thursday night, the speaker poured out many truths and stories. One important point: the best weapon against our spiritual Enemy is to fall on our knees and repent. Speak out to God and each other where we have failed or - and this is an important point - what we have perceived our failure to be.

Jesus tells Nicodemus in John 3:21 that, “whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” This weekend, over twenty men from Chaffin Church have stepped into the light to be sharpened and healed by God, through one of the greatest gifts we have received from him: each other.

Do you want to grow in your walk with Jesus? Then do not walk alone. Find another man whom you see as “having his act of faith together” and walk with him. Don’t kid yourself, though. He struggles just like you. Together, however, you will carry each other’s burden and grow into stronger and more confident disciples of our Lord Jesus.

Together you will bring more men into the light. Amen.