Brothers, Sisters, Come on Down…
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
— Proverbs 17:17
Writing devotionals like these, based on a scripture passage or Gospel reading or quote from the many New Testament letters is an interesting exercise, purely from the writer’s mind and heart but influenced (one hopes) by the Holy Spirit through prayer and mediation. A hundred people could read the same passage and see in it a hundred different messages. This is one way of understanding how the “word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword….” (Hebrews 4:12). I write this preface as a check-in between us. My interpretation of any given verse(s) is a sharing of whatever thought or image comes from reading the verse in question. A year from now, an entirely different interpretation could result, because a year from now the Holy Spirit might have something else to say on the matter.
That’s a verbose way of saying your mileage may vary, but I hope these small missives help in some way understand better the nature of being a follower of Jesus.
We all have at least one friend in this world. I pray you do. Perhaps many. The term “friend” is used in so many ways, from an acquaintance at work to someone you can’t wait to call or visit when you get home. A friend is someone who shares an interest, makes you laugh, has been part of your posse for the last fifty years or since school started.
Friends are important because they get us out of the house, share conversation and exchange ideas, call us when they’re worried about something or answer the phone when we need to talk. A friend is a companion in this walk of life. They know us, including what sensitive buttons to not push - or to push. I’ve had a few friends over the years who fit into the latter. Annoying pests, those, but we still consider them our friends because they are who we have chosen to “do life” with.
When our life experience suddenly hits an obstacle: a death in the family, an addiction, a stupid mistake, or any form of pain which has fallen over us… that is where we need more than a friend. We need a brother or a sister.
One might interpret this week’s verse from Proverbs as literally meaning our biological sibling, and in many cases that is exactly what it should mean. Throughout the bible, however, the term “brother” has become ingrained in the language of our faith to mean more. Our brothers and sisters in Christ are people to whom we have tightly wound the thread of our lives, people with whom we have gone far deeper in conversation, revelation and experience, more than one might a “friend.”
There is a fine line between the two, between friend and brother, and it’s a line that can easily be crossed. If you can tell your friend anything, share with her your deepest thoughts, fears, struggles, and trust she will hold it close to her heart and speak healing and comfort back to you, she is a sister as well as a friend. What friend do you think of when you are fighting a storm in your life? Who do first feel the desire to share good news or a joyful moment with? That person(s) is probably more than a friend, he is a brother.
Trust is an important ingredient in cultivating such a relationship. Trust is experiential. Meaning, the experience of sharing Life with someone is what teaches if they can, or cannot, be trusted with knowing the entire “you.”
What deeply personal thing do you struggle with? Think about what that is, and how much it will help to share it with someone else. Now, think about the people you call “friend.” Who of these folks do you think to yourself, I couldn’t tell them this much information. They are still your friend, but there is a level of trust which has not been built between you, or which has been hurt by past experience. Now, think of another friend. Do you think, I should talk with them about this? They might not know how to help, but because of the trust you hold for them to be able to share such an intimate part of your life, you have found a brother or a sister.
Trust takes time. This is what our Connect 4 groups (among others we might be involved in) strive to build. To share our faith, grow closer to Jesus together. Become friends. Share more. Learn to trust, and be trustworthy.
Having more friends is never a bad thing. To love and be loved at all times by someone else is important, today’s Proverb says. But cultivate and consider the importance of a brother and sister in your daily walk. They are like a house built on a solid foundation. When adversity comes they, like Jesus, can be an anchor to get through the storms. Conversely, strive be a friend who builds the trust of another, with sincerity and love. Earn the right to be called sister. To be called brother. The title cannot be forced and you will never be so for everyone.
Pray, however, that the Lord brings you into the lives of those to whom you can be more than a friend. Together we can nurture each other to be brighter lights on that Kingdom hill. Having, and being, a brother or sister is one of God’s greatest gifts in our lives and the lives of those around us.